I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
