How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
