I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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