this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
