Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
