My first STD was from a foam party
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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