Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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