She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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