Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
