I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
