I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
