The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
