it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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