I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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