This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
