well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Randomize
