I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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