ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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