Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
