a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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