hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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