is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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