I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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