From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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