Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
