I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
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I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
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This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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