There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
