Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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