remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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