im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
