Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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