Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize