What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
