So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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