I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
