So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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