So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
