hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
