So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
