I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
