But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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