So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
