What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
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She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
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Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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