My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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