so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
