I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
