is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
