I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize