Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
