Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
