Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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