forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
