Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
