Moan for me like Helen Keller
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
