i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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