Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
