everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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