I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
