So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
