Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
