I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
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why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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