his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
