I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
