Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
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Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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