He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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