Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
