I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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