They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
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I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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